What we really, really want to write right now:
"Hey, fat pants! Move your bum and buy this so you will be beautiful. We have no idea what it is and no one will find out for us, but that's OK. It's a mystery purchase that will make you as pretty as an abalone shell on the non-polluted beaches of the Caribbean."
What we will most likely actually write:
"Feeling glum in those old pants? Get an excuse to buy some new skinny jeans blah blah blah blah..."
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