I Do Not Want to be an Apostrophe

So, first off, we're kind of grammar-freaks here at the Hamster Wheel. As in, "Please use your dang apostrophes correctly and, no, we will not add them where they aren't needed!"

We were dealing with one of our clients the other day and he requested we add apostrophes to words such as pencils, aliens, and anacondas. In case you didn't know, apostrophes aren't used to make anything plural, just possessive. So, this guy really wanted to say "belonging to pencils, aliens and anacondas." Which doesn't really make sense.

To that we say: